Faceless Blog

For those who don’t know, my wife and I went on vacation with her family a few weeks ago to North Myrtle Beach.  The family was sharing a house near the beach, which is how we were able to afford going down there.  Well, I was pretty upset, at first, to find out that my wheelchair did not fit through the interior doors of the house.  So, once inside, I had to use my walker to get around in most instances.  Like I said, at first I was upset about this.  As I had a chance to think about it; however, it occurred to me that ultimately, this was a good thing.  In addition to being a fun vacation, this was going to be a week-long PT session.  Well, Tuesday’s PT session was the first chance that I had to see what kind of effect that extended vacation PT had…and I KILLED IT.  I had an incredible session, setting several new records for myself and coming away very happy.  Today, at my Thursday afternoon session, that trend only continued, with me setting a pretty intense new record for me on the Nu-Step machine. (it looks like a reclined stepper, sort of)  

I’ve got a lot of stuff coming up over the horizon, and most of it requires a good bit of walking (and pretty highly controlled walking, at that), so I’m pretty excited about the progress that I’ve been making at PT.  I’m overdue for a walking video, so I suppose I’ll have to record one soon.  :)  

It’s true, I’m looking forward to PAX East, the East coast version of a video game and webcomic convention that normally takes place in Seattle.  I can honestly say; however, that I’m not excited for the “normal” reasons.  You see, I have a number of friends that I only see at PAX, usually due to how far away they live from me.  These friends have only ever known me in my wheelchair.  Outside of Youtube videos, they just don’t even know what I look like on my feet.  Next year’s PAX East will be the very first time that I will be able to greet those friends on my feet, face to face and shake their hands.  (I would say give them a hug, but I don’t know how stable I’ll be on my feet by then.)  It’s hard to explain how much this means to me, I guess.  You’d think it wouldn’t be that big a deal, since they’ve seen me walking on Youtube many times, but it is a big deal…a really big deal.  So, PAX Friends, be patient.  March is coming, surprisingly fast, and on that first day of PAX, you’ve got a big handshake/hug coming.  

Whew, almost forgot where this blog was, it’s been so long since I’ve updated.  Honestly, I can say there are three main reasons for that.  1)  We got a PS3.  2)  We got PS3 games.  3)  For a long time, I was stuck in a holding pattern.  Only now, roughly four months after getting out of in-patient therapy at Passavant hospital, is the blister that I developed at the end of my time there healed up well enough to permit me to start my out-patient physical therapy.  

That’s right, folks, on Wednesday, July 6th, I will begin my out-patient physical therapy…one of the last phases of my rehab until I am completely back on my feet!!  I could not be more excited about this, especially since my physical therapist will be Casey, who was my PT guy back when I was just dealing with the wheelchair.  (Do I have a surprise for him!)  

I’m also going to have something very cool to report within a week or two.  There is a gift waiting for me at home from someone very special, and I can’t wait to share its story with you all.  For now, though, just hang in there.

I will be posting regularly with details of how PT is going, now that things are starting back up again, so thank you to all the folks that hung in there, or are coming back after a while (like me).  Later!

The “Dear 16 year old me” video that’s been going around reminded me of an old note I wrote on Facebook a while back.  It still rings true to me, so I thought I’d repost it here.  So, here you go!

An open letter to the individual who would have ended up with cancer,


Dir Sir or Madam,

I’ve said since this whole ordeal started that, “if this had to happen, I’m glad it happened to me, and not someone who wouldn’t be able to handle it.” Well, while there are days when it’s more difficult than others to believe that, I stand by that statement. And though I do stand by it, I wanted to write this letter to you to make sure that I haven’t gone through this for nothing.

Are you young? (You probably are, as my type of cancer typically only affects children or infants). Get out there, pick a sport that you love and play it. Don’t spend your summer days cooped up in the basement. DO something. I’m not even going to tell you what, that takes the fun out of it…but pick something you like, and do it…often! Go to an amusement park, visit the zoo, go see the paintings in the Museum of Art. Swim in the ocean, walk in the sand. Try and do something new every weekend, just to broaden your horizons and find new and different things that you like.

Are you older? Take a road trip to somewhere you’ve never been before. Go camping and catch your own dinner in a nearby stream. Be active in your community. Plan a three day weekend getaway to some nearby tourist attraction that you’ve never taken the time to check out. Try to get out and see at least one “Wonder of the World.” (be it one of the Wonders of the Modern World, Ancient World, Natural World, etc.) Throw a bonfire party with as many friends as possible…roast hot dogs if available. Thank a nurse. Shake a doctor’s hand. Live. Live hard and live long.

Of course, these are only suggestions. The real trick is to take the spirit of this letter, and make your own life out of it. Every day that I feel trapped in this chair, every time I’m stuck in the house or feel the loss of my independence…I think of you, out there, making the most out of the life that you have, and it helps.

I’m sure I’ll never know who you are. That’s ok, I don’t need to. Just promise me that you’ll do your best, and that will do. 

Sincerely,
Jeff (aka Facelesscog)

Good morning, folks!  Sometimes, it helps me to remember stuff for the journal (and book) if people ask me questions about my whole experience.  Also, I’m sure that there are people out there who have questions about what I’ve been through and are just afraid to ask.  So today, I’m giving you full permission!  Ask away!  Any questions will be answered to the best of my ability.  While I’ll be taking questions from Facebook, Twitter, email and however else people figure out how to contact me, I’ll be listing the Q’s and A’s here, just to keep it centralized and to make sure everyone can see the answers.  (My Facebook page is set up so only friends can see it…sorry, strangers.)  So, ask away!  Curious about how my prosthetics work?  Want to know what chemotherapy was like?  All questions taken, so fire away!

Q:  How did you keep focused on tasks through the hard parts, I often find myself frustrated with just basic tasks like reading a menu or even a news report, frustration seems to be my biggest killer.  How do you tackle that?

A:  I think this is where my experience with video games comes in handy.  I think that I get through the little things through a combination of setting goals/rewards and micromanaging the tasks.  For some tasks, the goal/reward system works well, telling myself that “If I just finish this task, then I can play a game for an hour,” or “Finish this list of items and you can buy yourself a new e-book.”…that kind of thing.  For other tasks, the “micromanagement” method works better.  For this method, the task that’s causing the trouble is broken up into a list of smaller tasks that may be easier to handle.  This one kind of balances out, while you do end up with more tasks, they’re all easier to do.  So, it might take you a little longer to finish, but at least you’ll be able to finish it!  Hope that helps!