Faceless Blog

So, the other day, while my mother was visiting us for the afternoon, I suddenly and unexpectedly had a “Eureka moment.”  No, not the tv show.  I mean one of those moments where you suddenly come to a realization that, upon having it, seems like it should have been plain as day since the beginning.

I will be going in soon for in-patient physical therapy to strengthen my upper leg muscles and learn how to use and walk on my prosthetic legs.  Up until now, the only experience I have with in-patient physical therapy was the awful experience when I initially got discharged from the hospital where I received the wounds on my legs, was stuck in bed, and was generally weak and sick for the duration.  So, sub-consciously, I had been thinking of my upcoming physical therapy in the same light…and part of me wasn’t looking forward to it for that reason.  Well, the other day, several things finally occurred to me, all at once.  Here they are, in order:

1. Once they give me my prosthetic legs…they’re MINE!  No one’s going to take them from me when I’m not in the gym, or anything like that.  Even though my time spent standing/walking is going to be limited at first…I’ll still have my legs.  This is huge.
2. Even if I’ve already used my allocated “leg-time” for the day, there will be nothing stopping me from getting in my wheelchair and moving around that way.
3. I am so much stronger and healthier now than I was then, there’s barely even a comparison.  I won’t be stuck in bed 24/7 because I won’t have to be!

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I know I’m going to be tired and sore.  From what I understand, I’m going to be in the gym three or four hours a day, seven days a week.  I may want to spend a lot of time in bed, but it will be because I’m exhausted, not because I’m sick or have no other choice.

While I certainly wasn’t feeling bad about physical therapy before, I feel much better about it now.  I’m looking forward to it more than ever, and I can’t wait to share my experiences with everyone!

It’s been a while since I’ve done a Life on Wheels entry, and I figure I better get them in while they’re still relevant!

I tend to be a morning person, nearly always getting up before my wife. Now, ever since I did my time in the hospital, I don’t like to be in bed any more than I have to be, so as soon as I wake up, I need to get out of bed. It was this morning, as I was sneaking around trying not to wake her up, that today’s topic popped into my head. Being sneaky in a wheelchair is totally different from being on foot.

You’d think, with wheels on a carpeted surface, that I’d be pretty quiet. For the most part, that’s correct. However, in the still of the morning, before the normal background noises of the day start to intrude, you have to be a little more careful. First, I have to use only the tips of my fingers and thumbs. This doesn’t make sense at first, but trust me. When I’m moving around normally, during the day, my wedding ring clinks against the metal rim of my left wheel on every “stride.” It also helps that I know my chair very well by this point. I know that if I move in certain ways, it will creak. I have a very good “wheelchair sense,” so I can avoid running into other objects in the room and making a racket that way.

Interestingly, I’m going to have to learn how to “sneak” all over again, once I start walking again…but I couldn’t be happier about that prospect.

Dir Sir or Madam,

I’ve said since this whole ordeal started that, “if this had to happen, I’m glad it happened to me, and not someone who wouldn’t be able to handle it.” Well, while there are days when it’s more difficult than others to believe that, I stand by that statement. And though I do stand by it, I wanted to write this letter to you to make sure that I haven’t gone through this for nothing.

Are you young? (You probably are, as my type of cancer typically only affects children or infants). Get out there, pick a sport that you love and play it. Don’t spend your summer days cooped up in the basement. DO something. I’m not even going to tell you what, that takes the fun out of it…but pick something you like, and do it…often! Go to an amusement park, visit the zoo, go see the paintings in the Museum of Art. Swim in the ocean, walk in the sand. Try and do something new every weekend, just to broaden your horizons and find new and different things that you like.

Are you older? Take a road trip to somewhere you’ve never been before. Go camping and catch your own dinner in a nearby stream. Be active in your community. Plan a three day weekend getaway to some nearby tourist attraction that you’ve never taken the time to check out. Try to get out and see at least one “Wonder of the World.” (be it one of the Wonders of the Modern World, Ancient World, Natural World, etc.) Throw a bonfire party with as many friends as possible…roast hot dogs if available. Thank a nurse. Shake a doctor’s hand. Live. Live hard and live long.

Of course, these are only suggestions. The real trick is to take the spirit of this letter, and make your own life out of it. Every day that I feel trapped in this chair, every time I’m stuck in the house or feel the loss of my independence…I think of you, out there, making the most out of the life that you have, and it helps.

I’m sure I’ll never know who you are. That’s ok, I don’t need to. Just promise me that you’ll do your best, and that will do. 

Sincerely,
Jeff Lowes

P.S.  This was originally posted on my Facebook account, but I thought it was worth reposting here.